awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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