Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry pinuelasrocks hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

Fav 19 3681 954
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?

Fav 19 4763 1043
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.

Fav 19 3632 1734
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

Fav 21 5280 1778
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again

Fav 6 3733 1141
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

Fav 4 2256 1357
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?

Fav 7 1486 1007
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions

Fav 2 757 340
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(587): View more from Alberta

My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.

Fav 0 42 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT