dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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