Dual....:-)
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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