Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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