Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize