I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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