Its about making memories worth repressing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
