My friends, they love my intelligence
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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