Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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