I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
