I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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