I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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