It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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