my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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