she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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