Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
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if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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