It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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