it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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