Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
