my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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