shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
