Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
