His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
