aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
