dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
