Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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