I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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