i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you win again, gameday.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
