youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
