I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
