I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
