Screwed.edu
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
