i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
love makes seman taste better
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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