Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
