She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
