ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
