So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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