At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My ass is underappreciated
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
