She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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