you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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