Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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(812): View more from Indiana

And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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(203): View more from Connecticut

nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.

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(310): View more from California

Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.

(818): View more from California

Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement

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(425): View more from Washington

I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.

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