I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
