My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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