question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
zippers are such a cool invention
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
