We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
