i already hear my dad disowning me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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