No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
