There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
