And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
