1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
