Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize