I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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