Im at strip club and am horny
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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