I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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