Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I didn't notice because vodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dicks are not precious.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
