Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
