also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize