You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
