I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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