I'm laying in your front yard are you home
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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