Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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