come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
