He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
