ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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