is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
