the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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