My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
