I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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