Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
